May 18

Should I? Could I let this day pass without comment? Obviously I could not.

He "would be" 72. Such a phrase is usually followed by "if he had lived." Well, he did not live, so to me that means aging stopped for him eight and a half years ago.

I do not imagine him at 72. I see him always as he was in 2003, and, if I can, at a better time, before 2003. Not a good year, take it all around. I mean, some good things came to be. I'm sure of it. But how could I ever call it a good year? My husband died.

Before 2003, he was still handsome, still slender, still had some light and occasional twinkle in his eye. He was alive.

It becomes clear to me that I am thinking of him as he was shortly before he died. But there is a much longer past to view in my mind movies. Sometimes I do that.

Enough. Today is May 18, birthday of Wayne Gordon Schiess.

By the way, it's a waning gibbous moon today, 98% full.