A Lesson from Life

Before I had children I knew how it would be. I would have much to teach and tell them, and they would always want to listen. You know, like, sit at my feet, maybe even adoringly.

That is not the way it happened.

First, they didn't sit at my feet adoringly and listen.  How could I have been so naive? So arrogant? It was certainly not the way I behaved towards my mother. Did I think I knew so much more than she did? 

Probably. Actually, of course.

I mean, don't we all have that period in our lives when we think we know everything? At least everything worth knowing.  And certainly we know more than our parents. Those poor old ignorant parents. How do they survive without our help?

Then we grow up.

Second, my children didn't listen. I know I'm repeating myself. It's on purpose.

Third, my feet were busy, not resting on the floor in front of a seated me.

Fourth, what, after all, did I know? What could I teach them? Something, I'm sure. But not as much as I thought. Having children taught me, and one thing I learned was that I didn't know as much as I thought I did. It's rough, but something we all need to learn, I suppose.

Fifth, we--our children included--learn more in those brief moments when teaching might not have been intended but when we see or hear something that goes right to where we need it to go. To the brain or to the heart.

Which does not mean we shouldn't try to tell them something now and then.

Sixth, I just didn't always know what to do, what to say, how to work through situations, how to help. I just didn't know.

I'm older now, but I wonder if I know yet. 

One thing I do know is that it's hard to be a parent. Hard and humbling.  But I think my children are doing pretty well at it. I take no credit for that.