May 18

I had thought to go up to the cemetery today, Wayne's birthday. I want to and I don't want to. It's never very satisfying. He isn't there, and I don't know what to do with myself. I talk to him here, and I don't usually talk to him there. 

Yes, it's a lovely place, but it would be lovelier if he were standing there beside me.

Anyway, if I go, I'll go alone. Duh. And I suppose I'll note it here. 

In the meantime, he is 74 today. That is, on this earth, if he were here. I do not know how they count those things in the realm where he currently resides, or if they count them at all. Don't even know the proper words to use when writing about it. Obviously. I haven't been there. And, truth to tell, I'm not anxious to go. That is old news.