Things you might hear in Pennsylvania

"Daddy, can I wear my Spider Man clothes today?"
"Not today, Edmund" (three years and one month old).
"Oh (sigh). I wanted to fight the forces of evil."

"I can carry Grandma's suitcase down."
"No, Edmund, it's too heavy. But you can carry her coat down."
Edmund picks up the faux leather jacket, looks at Grandma and says, "Where did you get this awful coat?"

"Hi, little Mina May."
"Can I hold her now?"
"Wash your hands."

I must leave it Ann to tell the Clinique story.

*     *     *

Or on an airplane in Denver from the . . .
Pilot: We're about to take off for God's country. Boise, Idaho.
Me: Oh, so you've been there.
P:  I love Boise. I hear all the streets are paved with gold.
Me: They used to be, but we've scraped it all up and . . .
P: Made rings and jewelry out of it.
Not what I would have said, but oh well.